So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How does one acquire holy water?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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