I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
nutella sex= disaster
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
