it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
