Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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