perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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