I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
