i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
