just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
