So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize