I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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