i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
