the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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