Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
then he tried to convert me to islam
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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