Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
