its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize