No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
