You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
