You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
