He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
where are my eyebrows?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize