garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize