I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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