What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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