2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
