I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Damn victory sex feels great
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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