So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize