I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
