Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
