so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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