I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
