i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
