i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
