What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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