Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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