talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize