I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
