hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
