I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
