i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
