I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
