You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize