i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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