playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
