i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize