yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
