I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
