...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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