you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
