Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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