Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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