you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
