ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
