is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
