I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
