Is it because I queefed?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
