normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize