what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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