He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize