I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
