dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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