Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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