We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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