I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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