and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
